Size

I myself am a plus size girl and all the images of submission I see on the internet are women who are smaller than me. It does make me feel as if I don’t belong sometimes.

I am submissive and have made the mistake in the past of thinking I needed a big man to control me and dominate me. I realize now that submission is just that… Submission. My submission is a gift that I give freely to someone. If he has to take it then its not submission.

I have started seeing someone who is a lot thinner than my normal type. It has not hindered my ability to submit to him. Although I have not submitted fully I know in my heart that when its time I can.

#submission #BDSM #sizedoesnotmatter

Random Thoughts

Today I think I would like to wright about age. Specifically age difference and if it has any real impact on a dynamic.

As I think back on my life I am reminded of a time when I liked older boys. They smoked, drank, and could drive. The stereotypical bad boy type complete with muscle car and black leather motorcycle jacket. I remember the excitement they brought into my life. I didn’t know it then but they were all very alpha male types; very dominate in behavior. I wonder sometimes if any of these young men found their way into the life.

Thinking back I have always been submissive. I only learned that there was a term for it by accident and quite recently. I remember when I first learned about BDSM I was intrigued. I set out to learn as much as I could which has led me to writing this blog. I have lots of questions that need answers. Lots of deep thoughts to be pondered on.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. Age. What is age exactly? It could mean the number of years a given person has been alive or it could also be measured in experience. Young or old I think we all are the same and want the same things. Especially those whom I have met that live the LS. Right now though I am struggling a bit with the actual number of years someone has been alive.

I am thinking about entering into a dynamic with a man that is 15 years younger that myself. I myself do not think his age will hinder my ability to submit to him. I have talked to others who think that it will. They say it will fall apart eventually and maybe they are right. I can’t say that I don’t have any reservations about the arrangement because I do. He is still young and has no children of his own. If things work out as I hope they would he would be giving up his chance to have his own biological children and grandchildren. I have 5 children of my own and have been surgically sterilized so I can’t have anymore.

So as I sit here I wonder… Will this effect our relationship and how we interact with eachother on any level at all? Am I truly free to love this man and submit to him in the way that’s required in order to make the dynamic fulfilling for us both? These are the questions that I need to find answers to before this arrangement goes too far. Hopefully soon I will find some kind of information or he will say something that will make my decision a lot easier. I just need to remind myself to listen to my gut and not over think the situation. Take each new bit of information and analyze it completely so I don’t make a rash decision.

The thought that I would like to leave you with tonight is this…. Before entering into any kind of relationship one must think about the future. Do not give pieces of yourself away that you can never get back to someone who isn’t putting their all into it also. Always communicate your desires to your partner. Always love and always above all else never be with someone you can’t submit to fully.

#submission #dynamic #randomthoughts #BDSM

Collared

These are my thoughts on being collared….

It would take a very special man to slip a collar around my neck and expect me to wear it. I would have to be sure that he would love me, protect me and intend on staying with me. This is not a game to me. Most men I have met in the present think this is a sex game. Being submissive is soooo much more to me. Its everything to me. It encompasses all aspects of my life. I live to serve my master and do not feel whole unless I am possessed by someone. I am only half… He is the other half. Together we make a whole.

#submission #BDSM #collared

Waiting

Her phone alerts her that there is a new message. She picks up her phone and turns it over to see who it is. She smiles sweetly to herself because he has been on her mind all day. A man known to her only as Greg.

He asks her, “What would you say if I asked you if you wanted any fat cock tonight?”.

She simply messages him

“I would say yes!”.

“I would say please.”

He tells her that since she asked so nice that he would come by tonight. Her mind is racing and the anticipation of him coming to her tonight starts to build.

She goes and gets in the shower to wash and ready her body for his inspection. She does this because she knows that he likes for her to be clean and fresh for him. She dresses in a rush and combs her hair. She gathers up her cigarettes and her cell phone to go outside and wait.

As she is waiting she can’t help but wonder what he has in mind for the night. Will he be a hungry wolf looking to consume her soul? Maybe he will be the sweet and gentle man she had last time.

She starts to imagine what it would be like to meet the wolf that is buried deep within him. She shudders with the thought. She is sure that he would never hurt her. She trusts him. She feels safe with him.

She holds her breath everytime headlights come into her view. She is nervous about his arrival tonight. She has a hunger for him that burns deep within her. She can’t wait to feel his hands on her. She is wet just thinking about his hard cock being inside her, filling her wet pussy with his hot cum. She wonders if he will wanna taste her tonight. The thought is almost too much for her so she starts to think of something else just as a car turns into the driveway.

He exits the car in a hurry. He is excited to see her standing out in the cold waiting on him. He smiles at her as she opens the door and lets him inside. No words are needed as she leads him to the bedroom.

As soon as the bedroom door is closed he begins to remove his clothing. There is a strict rule that when daddy is in the room they both are to remain naked at all times. She stops to watch him remove his clothes. He looks at her kinda puzzled and raises one eyebrow. He tells her to get her clothes off now before he rips them off. She giggles shyly and begins to undress.

They are both standing there naked looking at eachother. She knows that he enjoys this part but she always feels so exposed. There is nothing to hide any of the flaws. She admires how beautiful his body is and notices that he is already aroused. She begins to wonder if his cock is always hard or is this what she does to him.

He grabs her naked breast in one hand and circles the nipple on the other with his tongue. He is looking up at her so he can see her reaction. Her head falls back as she begins to tremble under the feeling of his hands on her. He slides a hand down her belly and holds her hot and now soaking wet pussy in his hand. He tells her that he is gonna make her purr for him tonight and her eyes light up with delight.

He forces her to her knees as he stands before her with his hard cock in his hand. He instructs her to open up and she obeys him as he slides his rigid cock into her warm mouth. She slides her lips along the shaft as her tongue swirls around the head of his cock. His head falls back and a low growl escapes from deep within him. He looks down on her, she is on her knees looking up at him. He runs his hands through her long red hair as he moans. There is a longing in his eyes. A hunger.

He wraps his hands up in her hair and begins to hold her firm as he forces his cock further into her mouth. She gags on his cock as it hits the back of her throat. As she gags he sighs. He loves the sound of her gagging on his thick cock while she is kneeling at his feet. Everytime she reaches up to push him back he slaps her hands away hard. She loves playing this game with him.

The hunger in his eyes is growing as he moves in and out of her mouth, fucking her face deep. He looks down at her as he is about to cum and notices that she is looking up at him. He takes one final thrust to the back of her throat as she gags and begins to cum. She moans deeply as she feels his hot cum hit her tongue. He pulls his still hard cock out of her mouth as she licks her lips and smiles. He tells her to show him so she opens her mouth and shows him his cum inside. She closes her mouth and smiles, swallows and looks up at him with her hands resting on her thighs.

He tells her to lay on the bed, she quickly obeys this command as he spreads her legs open wide. He tells her that she has been such a good girl that he is going to reward her as he slides two fingers into her wet pussy. He begins to stroke her from the inside as his hungry mouth starts to move toward her pussy. He teases her with light licks on the lips. She is squirming and trying to get away so he hooks her hips and pulls her toward him. His licks become harder and begin to reach the inside. He begins to suck on her swollen clit as she explodes into an orgasm. He doesn’t stop as she thrusts her hips up to meet his hungry tongue.

He immediately rolls her over on her belly and has her lay flat. He puts a pillow under her hips to raise her bottom just a bit and takes his position behind her. He slides his rigid cock into her soaking wet pussy as she moans deeply. He loves the sounds she makes while he is inside her. He places one hand on her head and holds her down. The other hand has one of her wrists held behind her. He is moving in and out of her in slow deep strokes. As she begins to moan loudly her pussy begins to tighten around him driving him mad. He slows and bends down to whisper in her ear. He tells her not yet kitten, the wolf is still hungry. He tells her that he is gonna fill her pussy full of his cum and make her his. After tonight she will belong to him. He kisses her on her back as he begins to plunge deep into her again. Slow and deep.

She starts begging him for more. He loves to hear her beg for his cum. His strokes become harder and faster. She knows that he cant control himself much longer as he puts his hands on her hips. She asks for permission to cum and he simply nods as he cannot speak, she begins to cum on his cock as he is slamming into her. A loud moan escapes him as he takes one final thrust into her and she can fill him pumping his hot cum into her.

He rolls off of her as she rolls over. He is laying there with his head propped up on one hand. She reaches down and feels the cum oozing out of her. He tells her to go ahead and play as he knows what’s on her mind. She slips one finger inside and feels how slick and creamy it feels as a soft moan escapes her. She begins to rub her clit hard. It doesn’t take her long to begin to cum. He tells her to look at him when she cums. She looks deep into his eyes as he slides two fingers inside her and begins to offer her help. She begins to cum so hard that her legs are shaking. He withdraws his fingers and watches her body twitch for a moment.

He lays back and she rests her head on his chest. He begins to play with her hair and talk about his day. He talks as she listens. This is how it always ends with them and she is okay with that. She is happy to give him whatever he needs as she belongs to him. After they cuddle for a bit its time for him to leave. He puts his clothes back on as she puts her gown on. She walks him to the door and he hugs her. As he hugs her he whispers thank you kitten in her ear. She watches as he gets into his car and drives away.

#submission #BDSM #dominance #kinky

Random thoughts

Ok… So I have been sleeping with some random guy that I met on the internet. The sex is good but not awesome. He is just dominate enough to keep my attention but not exactly what I want or need.

We got together last night and it seems as something has changed with him. He is becoming more dominate each time we talk. Even his verbiage has become more aggressive. Could it be that he was hiding all this from me all along? And if he has been, what else is he hiding from me?

After sex he always talks. He talks about his awful day at work or just other random things. I always listen to him and just be there. I’m guessing that he just needs me to listen. Anyway, some things have me thinking that he is married. Its things like the late night visits and the talking after sex. Then there’s the leaving after. He never wants to stay but I have never asked him to either.

I realized last night that I have been carrying on a very sexual relationship with this man and I dont even know his name really. All I know is his first name and I’m not even sure now thats his name. I asked him if I may know his whole name. He said maybe one day. He asked why it even mattered and the truth is, I don’t think it does matter. Not to me anyway.

Anyway… This was on my mind tonight and I needed to let it out. Enjoy reading about my fucked up life and my fucked up thoughts.

#submissive #BDSM #master #d/s

The Meeting

She is in front of a camera on her knees… She is begging a master whom she has never met for permission to cum. He has not let her cum in weeks and she is about to go insane from the feeling.

He tells her to be a good little girl and do as daddy says. He knows what is best for her. Now is not the time for her to cum. Not yet.

The days roll by and still he does not let her cum. One day there is a knock on her door and the postman is there with a letter that he needs her signature for. She signs for the letter and immediately sees that it is from her master.

She hurries inside, opens the letter and begins to read…

Dear Kitten,

I have a gift coming for you. It should arrive about 6pm this evening. You are to take a bath and get dressed in the clothing I sent to you last week. Turn on your camera and sit in front of it so I may see you….

It is simply signed Sir

She spends the afternoon doing as she was instructed. She first bathed in a nice hot bubble bath, the child in her delights in the bubbles and she spends some time playing in them. She readys herself… Then she puts on the sexy dress that he sent to her the week before. It is red and very low cut in the back. He sent no underclothes only stockings and shoes. She slips the dress over her head. The dress is very long but slit up the side to almost her waist. She puts on the stockings and heels and goes to sit in front of the camera.

While sitting in front of the camera so Sir could see her she noticed something different… The image staring back at her was a picture of him. He has never done this before. What could she have done to anger him?

At 6pm there is another knock at the door. It is the driver of a limousine. He says that he was instructed to pick her up and take her to a restaurant down town. She grabs a wrap and locks the door, pulling it shut behind her.

Upon entering the restaurant someone comes right up to her and instructs her to follow him. He leads her to the back of the restaurant and through a set of doors into the most beautiful private dining too. She has ever seen. And. Seated at the only table in the room is Sir.

She smiles and walks over to him. He instructs her to sit and she obeys his command. He begins by telling her that she belongs to him and he intends to quinch his thirst with her cum and to feed off her body. She blushes.

He reaches over and slides one hand slowly up her thigh until he reaches the place where her leg attaches to her torso. He cups his hand around her pussy, looks her deeply in the eyes and growls… “Mine”… Then he proceeds to slide two fingers inside her and stroke her from the inside.

She begins to feel flush and hot. She’s about to cum and he knows it. She is starting to tense… He whispers “Relax”… And she obeys. As she begins to relax she can feel her cum start to run out of her. She looks him deep in his eyes and is excited by the hunger she sees in his eyes…. Her eyes roll back as she begins to cum hard on her masters hand.

He takes his fingers out of her and brings them to his lips. He begins to slowly insert them into his mouth and suck the cum off of them.

His desire takes over and he licks her up by the waist and sets her on the table. He pulls her dress up and prys her legs apart. He intends to dine on her pussy and she is excited my this. He licks all around her pussy. Teasing her. Finally he slides two fingers inside her and begins to stroke her again while he is sucking on her engorged clit. She explodes into another orgasm… Shaking and quivering she lay on that table exposed for the world to see but she don’t care.

He pulls her to the edge of the table where he can comfortably reach her and pulls out his thick hard cock. He slides inside of her as she sighs deeply. He notices her skin is all pink and flush. He knows that she is excited. He begins to move in and out of her and she grinds her hips up and into him.

Its not finished guys but I’m done for the day

#submissive #themindofasub

Random Thoughts

So… Here is my random thought for the week. I have been trying to make myself squirt for the last couple weeks. I have been doing a lot of edging and building up tension to no avail. When the time comes to cum it happens like it always happens. A flood escapes me and I drench the sheets.

Earlier today I was talking to a male friend of mine (yes we used to fuck sometimes) and I told him about my inability to master the art of squirting. He looks at me kinda puzzled and says,”But you do squirt. I have felt it when I have been inside of you.” Needless to say I was shocked by this bit of information. I thought when a woman squirted it was a forceful ejaculation not a wimpy kinda spitting action. I think more research on this subject is needed.

I do know that I get very wet sometimes and have had complaints from different men that say I get way too wet. Sometimes I am embarrassed by the amount of cum that flows out of me.

Recently I had the opportunity to have sex with a very attractive, successful, passionate and dominate man. When he entered me I instantly began to cum. I have never had that happen like that. I have been in a constant state of arousal for over a week. Our conversation was always really hot. Maybe I will ask him about the squirt theory.

If anyone has any advice or even just information they would like to pass along… I would appreciate it immensely.

Stay tuned for a story… I am a short story writer. I just began this journey so always be kind.

#submissive, #BDSM, #randomthoughts